Retirement- the first year.

It has been a year now since I retired…..April 29^th, 2022 to be precise.  Although I never wavered in my decision to leave a career I found so satisfying, after all the lure of more time with my sweet Baby Nina in France was too powerful, I did wonder how much I would miss my work life.  When you have built a career for decades it was a little unsettling to imagine what life without that daily focus would be like.  And I did miss it all at times for a little bit; I missed the collaborating, the problem solving, the being helpful……  But even that slipped away quickly as I immersed myself in the next chapter.  This big unknown to me retirement chapter. 

And really, I feel so blessed for the year that I have had.  My keyless life even predates my retirement life as I closed on the sale of my house a month before I retired so it’s been 13 months of wandering, adventuring, touring, reuniting. I appreciate that I have good health; it would probably be beyond difficult to live this kind of nomadic life if I had health issues.  As it is, juggling the scheduling of annual blood work and a doctor’s checkup is challenging me right now; can I get the blood work done in a province other than New Brunswick and have a virtual doctor’s appointment?  Does my doctor even do virtual appointments now that Covid is more in the rear-view mirror?  Will I have to fly to NB just for this??

Second, I appreciate the friends and family spread everywhere who have so graciously welcomed and hosted me.  It has been amazing connecting with people I see fairly regularly and with those I haven’t seen in years.  Or even decades.   To curl up and get caught up without the time constraints of a certain number of vacation days has really felt so luxurious.  

And thirdly, the fact that I have the means to live this life is also huge.  I mean, what if I wanted to do this sort of wandering but didn’t have the funds?  That would have been so frustrating for me.  I guess I would have kept on working.  Resigned myself to spending annual vacation time in France and making that be enough.  Which it wouldn’t have been but what choice would I have had?  Oh yes, some of this financial freedom I created, living modestly as I did, always prioritizing travel and adventure, making a good salary, having children off the payroll and independent at a fairly young age, and some of it was just luck.  Ie: buying my beautiful old house on Orange Street when the market was low and then selling it when the market was at its peak.  I mean, no one would have predicted Saint John prices would have jumped like they did and the fact that that aligned with everything else going on in my life was the best kind of good fortune to have. 

But never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that my first year of retirement would be as good and as satisfying as it has been.  Some of the cerebral stuff I was afraid I would miss was filled when I started this blog.  Trust me, my brain was stretched to the max trying to figure out how to actually start it up and having to then master the software itself.  By the way, there are two sets of software, the blog site and then the newsletter application.  And no in-house iT colleagues to assist.  I’m really quite proud I have done as well as I have at figuring this all out.  #Old dogs/new tricks. 

Oh, it hasn’t all been how I imagined it to be, this retirement life of mine.  I thought I would be even more focused on fitness, probably ten pounds lighter, carving out time from my unscheduled life to prioritize stretching, yoga, strength training.  Truth is, it wasn’t time limits at all that stopped me from doing these things when I was working but rather some sort of ingrained reticence to endure pain and discomfort.  It’s a human condition, that I know, but I thought I’d be a little more disciplined.  I have kept up the running and monster walks which tells me if I really want, I can make time for things I desire to be part of my life.  Now if I could be more disciplined on some of those other things…..

What have I learned about me in the past year?  Lots.  I am even more confident about traveling and being alone, even if that is in a place far from what was home.  Case in point, I have just spent two days wandering Victoria while Brod was at work, putting almost 30 more kilometers on my Doc Martens, exploring lots of little shops (gotta love the proliferation of consignment and 2^nd hand clothing stores in this part of the country), having lunch on my own in cute little vegan cafes.  I am a very extroverted introvert so the chance to be on my own, no schedule, puttering about, writing when I crave some story telling is a nice change and something that comes easy to me.  Certainly, easier than I would have thought ten years ago.  Now don’t get me wrong; I am still probably the most fraidy cat solo traveler ever, seeing danger lurking in every pathway, alley, park etc, even in broad daylight, but still I figure out what risks seem okay for my nervousness and get going.  I don’t think I will ever give myself credit for being brave until I go to a foreign country and do another completely solo trip.  Much like I did in 2021 and Portugal…. I need at least one more before I start to see myself as a comfortable on my own kind of explorer.  And really, the truth is maybe I will never really be 100 percent comfortable with it but will continue to try.  Pushing myself to new limits.

I’ve also learned that I am okay with the lack of stuff in my current life.  After all, I am about to go into month 4 with carry-on luggage only and though many people would be sick of their limited wardrobe by now, for me it is very liberating.  Depending on the weather I know what uniform I am putting on because chances are I only have one for those conditions.  For example, when I go for a run it’s the same sports bra, T-shirt, lightweight jersey, and windbreaker (if needed, the west coast has been beautiful and mild).  It’s my only jacket as it turns out, so I wear it whenever a more protective garment is needed.  If I am wearing jeans it is the one and only pair I have with me.  If I want a non-sports T-shirt then bonus, I have 2, both are white, one is more fitted then the other.  You get the picture.  A lot of wear, wash and repeat.  When I really want to mix it up I change my earrings; I brought 6 pairs with me so I can transform my ear lobes if nothing else.   They take up little room and it’s, for me, an easy way to transition from day to night, from hiker to restaurant diner.  It is all so freeing!!   Now don’t get me wrong; when I get back to France and the rest of my clothes, I am sure I will be happy to slip daily into different clothes but for now, this minimal wardrobe suits me just fine.  No dithering about what to wear.  Options necessarily limited.

I am also surprisingly comfortable with having no fixed address.  (Gratitude here to my brother who handles my mail for me, making things easier for me on that front- there are always these little logistical things that have to be sorted because they are necessary if somewhat unexciting.)  I heard a lawnmower when I got “home” tonight and I thought to myself- I am so glad I don’t have a house and a yard to look after.  Not that I intend to live like this forever but again, for me, right now, this is perfect.  Nothing to hold me back at all from whatever opportunities come my way.  

I think it is important to share too that although I am living a stripped-down life, I still love beautiful things.  Whether that is housewares, clothes, or footwear, it doesn’t stop me from admiring them.  I just know I can’t buy whatever I am admiring because if anything gets added to what I have then something has to go and there’s not much I can part with.  It’s all been carefully selected to be practical.  Mind you, I picked up a dress yesterday at a consignment store that I am going to have to somehow cram in.  Maybe there’s a pair or two of sports socks I can leave behind.  Or just be really layered up next time I am packing for a flight.  Like with a duo of T-shirts under a couple of dresses with jeans underneath.  Kidding.  Sort of.  But with a flight coming up mid-May there will no doubt be some packing stress.  It is the darn hiking boots and sneakers that take up so much, too much!, room.  Sigh.

Since retiring I have spent 6 months in France (in two different 3 month stints), had an extended time back in Eastern Canada, more time in Ontario, explored New Zealand, chilled in New Caledonia, caught up with an aunt and cousins in person in Australia and am now on this Western Canada tour.  Through it all I have never lost my sense of appreciation for what I am able to see and do.  I feel truly blessed.  I have so little but yet I have so much.    

And finally, thanks to all of you for your support of this little blog of mine.  All of your virtual high fives, words of encouragement, comments on posts, getting others on board, personal messages…..they have gone a long way to making me want to continue to bare my soul and share my life with you.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your kindness and generosity of spirit and time.  Creating and maintaining this has been an unforeseen turn of events and has helped make these past months interesting in a different way for me.  And if learning new things helps keep me young, hey, I’m on board for that.  After all, I still have a pretty long to do list that needs tending!

xo