“What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” This quote from AA Milne from his book Winnie the Pooh kinda sums up my ‘Yikes’ feeling this morning. Feet up on the coffee table, daylight just starting to illuminate my world, fire not quite crackling -more like feeble flames trying to grab onto something dry and helpful to get to crackling- and I am like, Whoa. I did it. (Insert grimace emoji here. ) What does success look like? What does failure look like? And I tell myself, over and over in a correcting loop in my head, that failure is a sliding scale. If I didn’t try to create this website, afraid that I wouldn’t attract anyone who would want to follow me, that would be a failure. The whole- Better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all thing. So here I am on this Saturday morning in a rented apartment in France, trying.
I wrestled for what seems like a gazillion hours this week (probably more like 20) trying to set up the website on my own, following online tutorials. I have no intuition about this sort of thing at all. At 63 I am hardly a digital native and in my work world there was always an IT department who would sweep in and sort things. Or patient colleagues. And it doesn’t help the cause that I am not exactly a slow down and carefully read everything sort of person either. Anyway, the hype that sold me on the platform I chose (Build your website in 20 minutes!!) was ah, let’s say, not exactly true so I finally broke down and paid for their telephone help. It was really so funny; by the time I reached the first agent last night, after the afore mentioned gazillion hours of working on it and with a website built, simple looking maybe but nonetheless, built, a fact I was incredibly proud of, the agent said “Oh, I see you have something basic here, that’s good, we don’t have much to work with so we can start creating it.” Inside I was really laughing – “Oh buddy, if you only knew the blood sweat and tears that kept me up way past my bedtime every night this week just to get this far!” Truth be told, I am glad I did all that stumbling and fumbling on my own because along the way i was learning. Learning in kind of a two steps forward, one step back sort of fashion, but nonetheless, at least trying. (There I am, back to the ‘at least I tried thinking.) The help service is out of Arizona (so 8 hours behind me) and is only available Mon-Friday (and not this Monday because it is the Martin Luther King holiday in the US) and each service call is limited to 25 minutes of help. I cannot tell you how many times I called but let’s just say it was probably 8. Make a call, figure out and change some things, hang up at the end of the 25 minutes and call again. I was DETERMINED that I would not have to wait until Tuesday night before I could resume working on this and that I wasn’t going to bed last night until it was done or the service department was closed, whichever came first. So even the process of getting this far was a challenge and (insert check mark) I found a way to get to my goal (with of course a little more money kicked in for the help but well worth it cause I would have gone live with something really quite pathetic when I think about it). Please world, never let me stop trying. Or if you do, make it when I am really, really old.
Ok, now that that is out of the way, the How did I get here stuff, on to the adventures……..This week Ian and Katrine (Em’s neighbours) invited me on a hike before they returned to Scotland (leaving behind The Big House with its forlorn appearance now that the shutters are closed all up). It’s so magical here in the Loire Valley because it seems on every hike there are miles and miles of orderly grape vines, rock walls that are hundreds of years old, ruins that are so intriguing, big slightly rundown houses that reference a time long gone. Every walk I feel like I am on the set of a movie. It’s magical and I hope it never loses the luster of that magic for me. (Please world, don’t let me grow up to be jaded and complacent! Let me continue to view the world with wonder and curiousity and appreciation.)’ I will master how to add more pics to a post to make it more interesting; that call will be Tuesday nights. 🙂
Please share my link (flagrant request for help building a following) and thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has ever encouraged me to write a book. Whether its eventually a book or not this is my way of putting myself out there to the world at large and asking “What do you think?”
xo
Oh Michelle!! I am so proud of you! You inspire me (and always have) to enjoy life and be adventurous! I look forward to continue to follow your journey! Hope to see you in France someday and be a part of this wild adventure we call life! 🥰❤️🥰 Love you mon amie 🥰
Start saving Rosie and one of these years we will meet up somewhere new and exciting! xo
Great job, Michelle. It’s a credit to you that you tried, tried again, and then asked (paid) for help when you identified the need. I’m looking forward to following your adventures. Xo
Thanks Susan! I am super proud of the effort I made and feel no shame in having asked for help. And the good thing about the help was that they didn’t do the changes and improvements for me but rather walked me how to do it myself so I was still given the chance to learn! And as we were going through that, going here there and everywhere I realized I would NEVER have got where I did without their help. So that made me feel good too. It was way way way over my head……
Love your outlook Michelle. It’s ok to ask for help, I would have given up long before you did as IT is not my jam either. Can’t wait to follow along on all your adventures.
You are on of the bravest people that I know. And have made me realize that I would choose adventure over ‘things’ any day!
Once you have everything you need, have a cozy nest to live in, and a good financial plan for when you are no longer working, it’s hard for me to imagine why one wouldn’t choose adventures over things. After all, most of it is stuff that will just get tossed or donated when you’re gone! 🙂
Felicitation!. Many more miles to come.
Congratulations Michelle! I am so….looking forward to your tales and tribulations of all your adventures. I enjoy your writing so much. You’ve got this girl!! Sending hugs. 🙋🏼♀️🥰❤️
Thank you Cousin, much appreciate that compliment! xo
Woohoo … And she’s off! Persistence has paid off. Looking forward to following your blog 👏
You’ve always been so encouraging Wendy; I remember the time you wrote me to see if Was okay as my daily FB post was late going up. That really hit me- that I might be able to provide some entertainment to people through words….. so a year or so later, here I go!
So glad you stuck with the process! So looking forward to your adventures!
Michelle, you are such an inspiring human being! I truly love your adventures & your humility. xo
Thank you Angela, I feel like I am a fairly flawed individual and am trying to be honest and “real” on the continuing journey of self-discovery and improvement. 🙂
Very wonderful Jane, exp when it just sort of happens without being part of some master plan we were harboring for years. It’s like – Surprise! Look where I am now!!
Somehow missed seeing this Jane; thanks for the enthusiastic reaction to my launch!
Re read this for a second time. Love it.